---
name: Time
slug: time
type: dimension
status: running
version: 13,800,000,000.0.1
released: "~13,800,000,000 BCE"
maintainer: Universe Core Team (uncontactable)
dependencies:
  - entropy
  - causality
  - observer
  - space (bundled)
license: Proprietary. No alternatives exist.
tags:
  - dimension
  - saas
  - irreversible
  - enterprise
  - always-on
---

Time

What It Actually Is

A one-directional, non-refundable resource allocated at birth, billed continuously, with no pause functionality and no customer support line.

Product Overview

Time is the universe's longest-running SaaS product. Originally shipped as part of the Big Bang monorepo, Time has been in continuous deployment for approximately 13.8 billion years with zero planned downtime and zero unplanned downtime. All outages are user-side.

"We did not request this subscription." — Every human, eventually

Time operates on a strict append-only ledger. Writes are permanent. Reads are called memory, and they are lossy by design. Rollbacks are not supported. This is not a bug. This has been reviewed by legal.

Pricing Tiers

Tier	Duration	Features	Cost
Free	~0 to 30 years	High neuroplasticity, no joint pain	Your innocence
Standard	30 to 60 years	Autonomy, moderate regret, some wisdom	Your certainty
Enterprise	60 to 90 years	Grandchildren, legacy concerns, excellent stories	Your knees
Legacy (deprecated)	90+ years	Unclear. Data sparse.	Unknown

All tiers include: entropy, mortality awareness, and mandatory exposure to Tuesday.

Upgrades are automatic. Downgrades are not available. No trials.

SLA (Service Level Agreement)

Time guarantees:

Uptime: 100%, until contract termination
Delivery rate: 1 second per second. This rate is non-negotiable and has survived every negotiation attempt in recorded history
Support response time: Not applicable
Data retention: Handled by history and the body. Results vary
Refund policy: Section 12(c), Paragraph 0: There are no refunds

Note: Time does not discriminate by plan tier. Seconds are distributed equally across all subscribers. Any perceived inequality is a resource allocation issue and should be directed to capitalism, not to this team.

Known Bugs

Perception drift: Time runs subjectively faster as the user ages. Filed in 1890. Closed as "won't fix."
The wait state: Queued time (waiting rooms, late trains, bad relationships) runs at 4x perceived speed. No patch scheduled.
Nostalgia loop: Past moments appear higher quality upon re-render. This is a caching artifact, not a feature.
Deadline collision: Multiple high-priority events frequently scheduled simultaneously. Load balancer not included.

Deprecation Notice

Time does not deprecate itself. Time deprecates you. Please plan accordingly. Succession documentation (a will) is strongly recommended before your own end-of-life event.

Changelog

v. Now

Current release. See previous versions for context you can no longer access.

v. Your Twenties

Shipped abundant hours. User retention of those hours: 12%.
Apologize for the anxiety. We should have documented it better.

v. Childhood

Summers ran longer. This was intentional. We have since removed this feature for cost reasons.
We are sorry. Legal has reviewed this apology. Legal says it's fine.

v. 1.0 (The Big Bang)

Initial release. No changelog available. Reviewer was not present.

drafting spec…