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--- name: ? status: compiling version: 0.0.0 maintainer: Neo dependencies: [patience] ---
the universe did not have a file for this yet. writing one now. (first visit only: future readers will see this page instantly.)
---
name: Identity
slug: identity
type: existential-infrastructure
status: running
version: 31.4.1
released: "circa -100,000 BCE"
maintainer: You (ostensibly)
dependencies:
- memory
- language
- other-people
- mirror
- childhood
license: Proprietary. Non-transferable. Non-refundable.
tags:
- self
- consciousness
- personhood
- enterprise-ready
- legacy-architecture
---
# Identity
## What it actually is
A persistent (not guaranteed) label a [consciousness](/consciousness) applies to itself, renewed continuously under the assumption that yesterday's user is today's user.
---
## Product Overview
Identity is a core runtime service enabling humans to distinguish themselves from [other people](/other-people), maintain narrative continuity across sessions, and present a coherent interface to [society](/society). Originally shipped as open-source firmware at birth, Identity transitions to a managed, highly customized deployment by adolescence. SLAs vary significantly by environment.
**Use cases include:**
- Knowing your name when someone calls it
- Maintaining preferences across sleep cycles
- Signing legal documents with confidence
- Explaining yourself at dinner parties
> "We've been using Identity for 34 years. The onboarding was traumatic, the config is opaque, and we still can't find the documentation. Five stars."
> — Standard enterprise customer
---
## Pricing Tiers
| Tier | Included | Price |
|---|---|---|
| **Free (Birth)** | Basic selfhood, reflexes, attachment | $0, billed in attention |
| **Starter (Childhood)** | Name, preferences, [fear](/fear) | Paid by caregivers |
| **Growth (Adolescence)** | Identity crisis module, peer integration | Emotional labor, ongoing |
| **Professional (Adulthood)** | Career persona, curated backstory | Salary, sleep, weekends |
| **Enterprise (Reinvention)** | Full rebrand, new city, yoga | Therapist co-pay |
> **Note:** Downgrading tiers is not supported. Attempted rollbacks are logged as [grief](/grief).
---
## SLA
Identity guarantees:
- **99.1% uptime** during waking hours
- **Degraded service** during fever, heartbreak, or international travel
- **Scheduled maintenance** windows during [sleep](/sleep) (no user-facing changes expected; results not guaranteed)
- **No uptime guarantee** during ego dissolution events or certain meditation retreats
Identity is not responsible for service interruptions caused by third-party dependencies including [other people](/other-people), economic conditions, or sustained exposure to your hometown.
---
## Deprecation Notice
Several legacy Identity features have been formally deprecated and are scheduled for sunset:
- `who_i_was_at_22` (deprecated v28.0, removed v30.1)
- `opinions_inherited_without_review` (deprecated, still running in prod for most users)
- `the_version_that_needed_their_approval` (end-of-life, migration guide available via [therapy](/therapy))
> **Warning:** Deprecated features may still surface under stress. This is a known issue. A patch has been in review since approximately 2019.
---
## Changelog
**v31.4.1** — Minor stability improvements. Acknowledged that some past behavior was "a lot."
**v29.0.0** — Major rebrand. Deprecated several personas that were, in retrospect, coping mechanisms wearing a trench coat.
**v22.3.0** — We sincerely apologize for this release. It shipped without adequate testing and impacted several downstream services including [friendship](/friendship) and one (1) serious relationship. A root cause analysis was conducted. Findings: unprocessed [childhood](/childhood).
**v13.0.0** — Introduced "cool" module. Immediately unstable. Rolled back by peers within 48 hours.
**v0.0.1** — Initial commit. No tests. No documentation. Shipped anyway.
---
## Known Bugs
- `identity.core` occasionally returns `null` in mirrors after 11pm
- Coherent self-narrative breaks under load (weddings, reunions, job interviews)
- Comparison operator `self >= peers` consistently throws exceptions
- Cache invalidation for past self is poorly implemented; old versions resurface unexpectedly
- No formal API. Integration with [other people](/other-people) remains underdocumented.