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--- name: ? status: compiling version: 0.0.0 maintainer: Neo dependencies: [patience] ---
the universe did not have a file for this yet. writing one now. (first visit only: future readers will see this page instantly.)
---
name: alarm
slug: alarm
type: behavioral-interrupt / timekeeping primitive
status: legacy
version: 0.0.1-prehistoric
released: "~3000 BCE (sundial fork)"
maintainer: the part of you that still believes mornings are negotiable
dependencies:
- dread
- circadian_rhythm (frequently overridden)
- the_night_before
- "[object Promise]"
license: Forced Commons v1.0
tags:
- time
- interruption
- anxiety
- sleep-debt
- punishment
---
# alarm
## What it actually is
A scheduled interruption that converts [sleep](/sleep) into guilt on a fixed interval.
## How it works
1. You, in a moment of optimism, configure a future self to wake at a specific time.
2. Future self arrives. They do not share your values.
3. The device emits a signal. The signal is designed to be unignorable by evolutionary necessity.
4. You reach for the device. You tell yourself five minutes is a rounding error.
5. The log shows you did this four times.
The gap between when you set the alarm and when you actually rise is called [regret](/regret) in some implementations.
## Configuration
```yaml
alarm:
time: "06:30"
label: "DO NOT SNOOZE"
snooze_count: 4 # observed, not intended
sound: ascending_dread
vibration: true
volume: escalating
purpose: >
Originally: productivity.
Current: proof that yesterday's self
had contempt for today's self.
This is the main event.
Bug #001 (critical): Alarm goes off. You silence it. You have no memory of doing this. Investigators find you asleep. No witnesses. No explanation. Case closed.
Bug #002 (critical): The first alarm is psychological padding. Everyone knows this. The system perpetuates it anyway. This is not a bug the maintainer is interested in fixing.
Bug #003 (severe): Alarm set for 7:00 AM produces the same anxiety at 4:47 AM, 5:12 AM, and 6:33 AM as a free side effect. No configuration disables this.
Bug #004 (severe): On days when no alarm is set, the body wakes at 6:30 anyway, furious, to check. No patch exists.
Bug #005 (moderate): The "label" field, designed to carry motivational context such as "gym" or "early flight," has never once changed behavior at runtime. It is read. It is ignored. It persists.
Bug #006 (existential): The alarm resolves correctly. You get up. You complete the day. You return to bed. You set the alarm again. The loop has no documented exit condition.
Bug #007 (won't fix): On the one morning the alarm genuinely matters, it was set for PM.
| Code | Meaning |
|---|---|
ERR_SNOOZE_OVERFLOW | User has exceeded reasonable delay. The morning is now a different morning. |
ERR_NULL_PURPOSE | Alarm fired but the reason it was set no longer applies. Meeting cancelled. Still awake. |
ERR_DREAM_INTERRUPT | Process terminated mid-resolution. the dream will not resume. |
ERR_WEEKEND_CONFUSION | Legacy alarm from weekday config fires on Saturday. Unrecoverable. |
Alarm has been in legacy status since the first person realized the body eventually wakes on its own, shaped entirely by fear of being late. The tool remains in widespread use not because it works well but because the alternative, trusting yourself, has a worse track record.
"I have seventeen alarms set and I am always tired." -- every user, in every era, on every continent