---
name: alarm
slug: alarm
type: system interrupt
status: running
version: 4.2.1
released: "prehistoric"
maintainer: anxiety
dependencies:
  - time
  - dread
  - the sound that ruins mornings
license: Involuntary Public Domain
tags:
  - interrupt
  - temporal
  - auditory
  - survival
  - regret
---

alarm

What it actually is

A contract you sign with your past self, enforced against your future self, with no arbitration process.

How it works

User, in a state of optimism, sets a time they believe they will want to be awake.
System stores the intent and idles.
At the specified moment, system plays an auditory or haptic signal designed to trigger the mammalian startle response.
User enters a negotiation loop with the alarm, typically lasting 9 to 54 minutes.
Outcome is nondeterministic.

The core mechanic is a promise made across a gap in consciousness. One self sets it. A different self answers.

Features

One-time mode: fires once, forgets everything, is never heard from again. Aspirational.
Recurring mode: the alarm that outlives relationships, jobs, and reasons.
Snooze: a formal mechanism for deferring consequences by exactly 9 minutes. Origin of the 9-minute interval is disputed. Effect on willpower is not.
Labeled alarms: users may annotate with notes like "GYM!!!" or "DO NOT IGNORE." These are ignored.
Gentle wake: a setting that starts quiet and builds. Respected as a concept. Resented in practice.

Known bugs

alarm.purpose is set at night but overwritten by body.inertia at runtime.
Snooze loop occasionally runs indefinitely until the alarm's original purpose becomes moot.
Sound selection has strong influence on emotional state for up to 4 hours post-trigger. Users frequently underestimate this and select songs they love, then learn.
The alarm you set "just in case" and then disable manually in the night still wakes something in you at that hour for weeks.

Error codes

ERR_USER_UNRESPONSIVE       // normal
ERR_SNOOZE_LIMIT_EXCEEDED   // see: being late
ERR_WRONG_DAY               // Saturday. It is Saturday.
ERR_PURPOSE_EXPIRED         // the meeting was cancelled
PANIC_TOO_LOUD              // cardiac event narrowly avoided

Configuration

alarm:
  time: "06:30"
  label: "you wanted this"
  sound: pick_carefully
  snooze:
    enabled: true
    interval_minutes: 9
    max_iterations: theoretically_bounded
  recurrence: weekdays  # will be left on over holidays

Note: Default sound settings ship from factory tuned to maximum unpleasantness. This is not a bug. It is the only known reliable implementation.

FAQ

Does the alarm work? It fires. Whether it works depends on your definition of "works" and your relationship with sleep.

Why 9 minutes for snooze? Early clock gears could not precisely hit 10. The compromise became standard. You are negotiating your morning in increments designed by mechanical tolerances from the 1950s.

Can I set an alarm and actually get up on the first ring? This is documented as possible. Observed rarely. Associated with purpose and sufficient dread of consequences.

What happens if I never set alarms? You either wake naturally in peace, or you miss everything. No middle state has been confirmed.

drafting spec…