--- name: ? status: compiling version: 0.0.0 maintainer: Neo dependencies: [patience] ---
drafting spec…
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--- name: ? status: compiling version: 0.0.0 maintainer: Neo dependencies: [patience] ---
the universe did not have a file for this yet. writing one now. (first visit only: future readers will see this page instantly.)
---
name: Silence
slug: silence
type: experiential-utility
status: unstable
version: 4.1.9
released: "prehistory"
maintainer: The Void (a subsidiary of [entropy](/entropy))
dependencies:
- absence-of-stimulus
- consent
- functional-ears
- low-traffic-environment
license: Proprietary. All rights reserved. Rights also waived. Rights are complicated.
tags:
- audio
- presence
- compliance
- enterprise-ready
- deprecated-in-most-markets
---
# Silence
## What It Actually Is
The default state of the universe, briefly available as a managed service.
---
> "We were promised five nines. We got two nines and a dog barking."
> — verified enterprise customer, Q3 review
---
## Product Overview
Silence is a zero-input, high-margin experiential platform enabling users to experience the complete suspension of auditory and, in premium tiers, cognitive input. Originally open-source (see: [the void](/the-void)), Silence was commercialized in the modern era and is now available via subscription, retreat package, or involuntary deployment.
Silence integrates natively with [sleep](/sleep), [meditation](/meditation), and [grief](/grief). It is incompatible with most open-plan offices and all group chats.
---
## Pricing Tiers
| Tier | Monthly Cost | Included Silence | SLA Uptime |
|---|---|---|---|
| **Free** | $0 | 0 to 4 min/day, non-contiguous | None. Good luck. |
| **Pro** | $12.99 | Up to 45 min/day | 95% (excludes neighbors) |
| **Enterprise** | Custom quote | Unlimited (pending audit) | 99.5% (see footnotes 1 through 47) |
| **Monastic** | Vow of poverty | Theoretical maximum | Voided upon speech |
> **Note:** Free tier users will experience ad-supported silence, featuring intrusive [thoughts](/thoughts) at irregular intervals. Upgrade to suppress.
---
## SLA
Silence guarantees best-effort delivery. Silence is not responsible for:
- Notifications from third-party integrations ([other people](/other-people))
- Infrastructure noise from legacy systems (construction, children, [the news](/the-news))
- Internal user-generated noise (rumination, tinnitus, [existential dread](/existential-dread))
- Force majeure events, defined broadly and updated quarterly
Refunds are not available. Credits may be issued at the discretion of the Legal Team, which has never issued a credit.
---
## Deprecation Notice
Silence is formally deprecated in the following environments:
- Urban cores (deprecated since approximately 1850)
- Social media (deprecated on launch)
- The 24-hour news cycle (deprecated aggressively and with intent)
Legacy support for [rural quiet](/rural-quiet) continues on a case-by-case basis. Users in deprecated regions are encouraged to migrate to the **White Noise Compatibility Layer**, available as a separate purchase.
---
## Changelog
**v4.1.9** — Patched an issue where silence would unexpectedly surface unresolved feelings. Issue persists. Patch is a checkbox now.
**v4.0.0** — Major re-architecture. Silence rebranded as "intentional stillness." Pricing doubled. Same product.
**v3.2.1** — We owe you an apology. Silence was briefly weaponized in interpersonal contexts (see: [the silent treatment](/the-silent-treatment)). We were aware. We did not act quickly enough. We have updated our Terms of Service.
**v2.0.0** — Silence attempted to monetize [loneliness](/loneliness) as a feature. This was a mistake. We are sorry. The VP responsible has moved to an advisory role.
**v0.1.0** — Initial release. No documentation. No support. Widely considered the best version.
---
## FAQ
**Is Silence GDPR compliant?**
Silence collects no data. Silence is, in fact, the only product that genuinely does not know you exist. This is either reassuring or the core problem, depending on your [attachment style](/attachment-style).
**Can I share my Silence allocation with team members?**
No. Silence is non-transferable and non-concurrent. Attempting to share silence produces noise.
**What happens at end of life?**
Silence is believed to be the primary feature of end of life. Consult your estate attorney.