--- name: ? status: compiling version: 0.0.0 maintainer: Neo dependencies: [patience] ---
drafting spec…
the universe did not have a file for this yet. writing one now. (first visit only: future readers will see this page instantly.)
--- name: ? status: compiling version: 0.0.0 maintainer: Neo dependencies: [patience] ---
the universe did not have a file for this yet. writing one now. (first visit only: future readers will see this page instantly.)
--- name: Observer Effect slug: observer-effect type: core-physics-primitive status: running version: 13.8b released: "-13,800,000,000" maintainer: Reality Operations Team dependencies: - measurement - consciousness (disputed) - quantum-mechanics - classical-mechanics (legacy adapter) license: Proprietary. Irrevocable. Non-negotiable. tags: - physics - epistemology - unavoidable - enterprise - baked-in ---
The act of looking at something changes it. This is not a bug. This is not something we are working on.
Observer Effect (OE) is a foundational interaction primitive embedded at every layer of the universe's runtime. When any measurement event contacts a target state, OE automatically modifies that state. There is no opt-out flow. There is no sandbox mode. All environments are production.
Observer Effect is trusted by 100% of entities who have ever looked at anything.
"We didn't ask for this feature." — Every physicist, 1927 to present
| Tier | Access Level | Cost |
|---|---|---|
| Free | Full exposure. No consent dialog. | Your unobserved state |
| Professional | Same as Free. Nicer branding. | Your unobserved state + $49/mo |
| Enterprise | Dedicated account manager who also changes what you're doing | Custom |
| Quantum | We have been asked to stop offering this tier | Contact Legal |
Note: All tiers include the Observer Effect. There are no tiers that do not include the Observer Effect.
Reality Operations Team guarantees Observer Effect will activate on 100% of measurement events with 0ms latency and 0% possibility of remediation. Uptime is not a metric we track because downtime is not a thing that happens. Refunds are not available as the product has already been applied.
Scheduled maintenance windows: None. Ever.
Observer Effect is not deprecated and will not be deprecated. A previous internal proposal to deprecate OE in favor of a "passive observation mode" was reviewed by Legal, forwarded to Physics, and returned with the comment: "This is not how anything works." The proposal has been closed as WONTFIX.
v13.8b — Current No changes. The effect remains.
v2.6 — Copenhagen Patch (1927) Formalized behavior that had always been occurring. Apologize for the delay in documentation. We should have been clearer sooner.
v1.0 — Initial release We are sorry. We did not consult users before shipping. We understand this caused significant uncertainty. We have held a retrospective. The feature remains.
v0.1 — Pre-documentation era This was always happening. We apologize for not telling you.
Can I observe something without changing it? This request is outside the scope of the current product roadmap.
Is this related to the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle? They are colleagues. Neither will comment on the other.
What if I just look really quickly? Still counts.
Who approved this? Legal has advised us not to answer that question.