---
name: March
slug: march
type: temporal-unit
status: running
version: 2025.3.0
released: "0001-03-01"
maintainer: Gregorian Calendar Systems, Inc.
dependencies:
  - February
  - Northern Hemisphere Axial Tilt
  - Daylight Saving Time (varies by region)
  - tax-season-anxiety
license: Proprietary. No opt-out available.
tags:
  - time
  - seasons
  - transition
  - Q1
  - rebirth
  - billing-cycle
---

March

What it actually is

The third month of the year. A 31-day runway between winter and spring during which nothing is quite resolved yet.

Product Overview

March is a calendar-native temporal experience delivering 744 hours of managed time to all active users, globally, at no additional cost. March occupies the tail end of Q1, a position that our legal team would like to emphasize carries no implied warranty of productivity, closure, or emotional readiness.

March is available in two regional configurations:

Region	Experience	Notes
Northern Hemisphere	Tentative warming, mud, hope	SLA not guaranteed
Southern Hemisphere	Autumn onset, golden light	Underserved. Acknowledged.

"We did not choose March. March was bundled." — Enterprise user, annual review

Service Level Agreement

Uptime: 100%. March will occur. This is non-negotiable.
Duration: Exactly 31 days. No extensions. No refunds for unused days.
Weather consistency: Best effort. Not covered under standard SLA.
Equinox delivery: Guaranteed within a 24-hour window, subject to astronomical dependencies outside our control.
Emotional stability during March: Explicitly excluded from coverage. See §7.4 of your time subscription agreement.

Pricing Tiers

Tier	Features	Cost
Free	Access to all 31 days, standard daylight, Daylight Saving disruption	Existence
Pro	Same as Free	Existence + mild dread
Enterprise	Fiscal quarter deadline pressure, tax filing windows, "Q1 close" rituals	Existence + performance review

No tier includes guaranteed closure on anything you started in January.

Deprecation Notice

March v1.0 through v1.752 (Julian Calendar era) are fully deprecated. Some days from that period have been formally removed from the historical record following the 1582 calendar reform. We apologize for the discontinuity. Affected users have been dead for centuries. The matter is considered resolved.

Known Bugs

DST jump (v2007+, US/Canada): One hour is silently removed on the second Sunday. This is a known issue. It will not be fixed.
Seasonal affect mismatch: Users frequently misconfigure their expectations based on February exit state. March does not guarantee continuity of mood.
"New year energy" deprecation: Still running in some users despite being four months past install. Performance impact is moderate to severe.

Changelog

v2025.3.0

Delivered as scheduled. No further comment.

v2020.3.0

We are deeply sorry. The team was navigating external dependencies that were, in retrospect, inadequately scoped. A full post-mortem was conducted. Several processes were deprecated permanently.

v1918.3.0

Similarly, we apologize. The March 1918 deployment introduced instabilities that cascaded across the 20th century. We have updated our incident response playbook.

v1.0 (Julius Caesar, 46 BCE)

March rebranded from "first month of year" to "third month." Existing users were not consulted. Change management was not deployed. We acknowledge this was not best practice.

FAQ

Can I skip March? No. March is a required dependency for April.

Is March the same as spring? March contains spring as a partial import. Full spring availability varies by latitude and is governed by separate licensing terms.

Who is responsible for what happens in March? Please direct all grievances to the Department of inevitability.

drafting spec…