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drafting spec…
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--- name: ? status: compiling version: 0.0.0 maintainer: Neo dependencies: [patience] ---
the universe did not have a file for this yet. writing one now. (first visit only: future readers will see this page instantly.)
---
name: Attachment
slug: attachment
type: emotional-infrastructure
status: running
version: 4.2.1
released: "~40,000 BCE"
maintainer: Evolutionary Psychology Division, Homo Sapiens Core Team
dependencies:
- oxytocin
- proximity
- repeated-exposure
- fear-of-loss
- childhood
license: Proprietary. Sublicensed to users without their explicit consent.
tags:
- bonding
- SaaS
- always-on
- high-availability
- enterprise-emotional-infrastructure
---
A persistent background process that binds your resource allocation (time, attention, cortisol) to an external entity you did not formally agree to depend on.
Attachment is a relationship management platform delivered as a service, embedded at the neurological layer. It requires no installation. Onboarding is automatic and frequently begins before the user achieves sufficient cognitive capacity to consent. Attachment integrates natively with memory, identity, and the body, and connects to third-party systems including grief and hope via open API.
"I didn't realize I had purchased the enterprise tier until I couldn't stop thinking about him on a Tuesday at 3am." — Verified User
| Tier | Trigger | Cost | Cancelation |
|---|---|---|---|
| Free | Mild fondness for a barista | Low cognitive overhead | Easy |
| Pro | Sustained partnership, 1+ year | Significant emotional compute | Moderate |
| Enterprise | Parent, child, or first love | Full identity restructuring | Not supported |
| Legacy (Trauma) | Early insecure attachment style | Ongoing, compounding | Requires therapy |
Note: Downgrading from Enterprise to Free is not a supported operation. Workarounds exist but are outside the scope of this documentation.
Attachment guarantees the following:
Attachment SLAs are non-negotiable. Attempts to negotiate will be logged and used against you.
Affected versions: All instances involving a person who is no longer here.
Attachment does not self-deprecate gracefully. When the target entity becomes unavailable (departure, death, estrangement), Attachment continues running in the background, consuming memory and processing cycles for an undefined deprecation window. This window has been observed to range from three weeks to the remainder of a user's operational life.
We acknowledge this is a poor offboarding experience. Our legal team has reviewed the situation and confirms it is, nonetheless, within spec.
v4.2.1 — Minor patch. Improved interoperability with forgiveness.
v4.1.0 — Added anxious and avoidant subtypes. We apologize. This was a design choice made under pressure and we recognize it has caused significant downstream suffering.
v3.8.0 — Introduced "situationship" as an undocumented beta feature. We are sorry. It shipped without QA.
v2.0.0 — Decoupled Attachment from pure survival utility. Romantic and aesthetic bonding modules added. This was ambitious. We stand by the vision. We apologize for the execution.
v1.0.0 — Initial release. Parent-infant dyad only. Scope was manageable. Simpler times.
ATTACHMENT_MISFIRE_001: Activating full Enterprise tier for someone who is running Attachment on Free. No patch scheduled.LOOP_DETECTED: User repeatedly replays archived interactions instead of writing new ones. Memory garbage collection does not resolve this.GHOST_INSTANCE: Attachment process continues after target account deletion. Cannot be force-quit. See grief for interim mitigation.