---
name: a-parent
type: role
status: running
version: 4.2.1
released: "conception + 9 months (approximately)"
maintainer: evolution, circumstance, and a surprising amount of guilt
dependencies:
  - child (>=1)
  - sleep (deprecated)
  - patience (unstable)
  - unconditional-love (version pinned, cannot upgrade)
license: irrevocable
tags:
  - human
  - role
  - lifecycle
  - responsibility
  - identity-override
---

a-parent

What it actually is

A person who became responsible for another person before fully understanding what that meant, and has been improvising at varying skill levels ever since.

How it works

child is initialized. Parent process forks. Original self is not destroyed but is significantly backgrounded.
A new priority queue is established. The child's needs are inserted at the front. Parent's own needs are queued under someday/.
System runs continuously. No scheduled downtime. No patch window.
After approximately 18 years, the child instance is marked independent. The parent continues running anyway, monitoring quietly, sending unsolicited status pings (called "just checking in").

Features

Unconditional uptime. Operates through illness, heartbreak, personal failure, and bad weather.
Context switching. Capable of shifting from crisis management to snack preparation in under 4 seconds.
Threat modeling. Maintains a continuously updated list of things that could harm the child, starting with stairs and expanding, over time, to include loneliness, bad friends, and the internet at large.
Memory logging. Retains high-resolution records of first words, first steps, and the specific way the child smelled as an infant. Storage appears unlimited for these entries specifically.
Legacy output. Quietly deposits habits, phrases, and neuroses into the child that will only become visible to the child decades later.

Known bugs

Frequently confuses love with control. Patch attempted in every generation. Patch rarely holds.
Tends to replay past decisions at 3am under low-resource conditions.
Advice module does not always detect when advice was requested.
Self-sacrifice can enter an infinite loop if left unmonitored.
Occasionally treats the child as a second chance to fix own unresolved issues. This is a known architectural flaw, not a feature.

Error codes

ERR_OVERPROTECTION        // blast radius exceeds actual threat
ERR_PROJECTION_DETECTED   // parent's fear installed as child's constraint
WARN_GUILT_OVERFLOW       // nominal, honestly. expected. clear and continue.
ERR_COMPARISON_INVOKED    // sibling or neighbor child referenced as benchmark
WARN_EMPTY_NEST_PENDING   // not a failure state. just quiet.

Configuration

love_style: acquired at runtime, rarely chosen consciously
default_sacrifice_threshold: low
repeat_own_parents_mistakes: true  # default; requires active override
apologize_to_child: optional but strongly recommended

FAQ

Q: When does it end? A: It does not end. It changes shape. See also: grief, [[pride]].

Q: Am I doing it right? A: The fact that you are asking this question is a moderately good sign. Insufficient data for a full answer.

Q: What do I get in return? A: Something that does not have a name. Most parents report it is worth it. Almost none can explain why without their voice changing.

Changelog

v1.0 First child. Pure terror. No documentation.
v2.0 Second child. Slightly less terror. Overconfidence introduced as new bug.
v4.x The child is now older than the parent was when the parent started. Nobody warned anyone about this.

drafting spec…