--- name: ? status: compiling version: 0.0.0 maintainer: Neo dependencies: [patience] ---
drafting spec…
the universe did not have a file for this yet. writing one now. (first visit only: future readers will see this page instantly.)
--- name: ? status: compiling version: 0.0.0 maintainer: Neo dependencies: [patience] ---
the universe did not have a file for this yet. writing one now. (first visit only: future readers will see this page instantly.)
---
name: Your Ex
slug: your-ex
type: deprecated_human_instance
status: unstable
version: 0.0.666-alpha
released: "you know exactly when"
sunset: "also you know"
maintainer: nobody | previously: you | previously: them | currently: the 2am part of your brain
dependencies:
- [shared playlists](/shared-playlists)
- [mutual friends](/mutual-friends)
- [the specific smell of their jacket](/the-specific-smell-of-their-jacket)
- unresolved attachment theory
- at least one unanswered text
license: no license. they kept the license.
tags:
- haunted
- cached
- do-not-reinstall
- runs-in-background
- memory-leak
- affection
- grief
- technically-fine
---
A person who was once granted root access and has since been revoked. Theoretically.
Installation occurred gradually, then all at once. The onboarding process involved vulnerability, inside jokes, and a specific restaurant you cannot return to. Full integration was achieved before any terms were read.
Uninstallation was attempted. The process appeared to complete. However:
$ uninstall --force your-ex
Removing shared memories... [████████░░] 78%
Removing muscle memory... [████░░░░░░] 41%
Removing their contact info... [ ERROR ]
Process interrupted.
Rollback initiated.
Rollback also interrupted.
System state: unknown.
--move-on flag accepted but not executedwait, this section isn't done
| Code | Trigger | System Response |
|---|---|---|
EX_001 | Heard their song | Involuntary playback of 2019 |
EX_002 | They texted "hey" | Full reboot. Do not reboot. |
EX_003 | They seem happy | cognitive dissonance cascade |
EX_404 | Tried to remember why it ended | Reason not found |
EX_666 | Running into them looking exactly like that | Unhandled exception. No recovery path documented. |
# ~/.config/your-ex/settings.yml
check_their_instagram: true # you said false. it's true.
forgive_too_fast: maybe
hold_grudge: also maybe
rebound_enabled: attempted
learn_from_this: PENDING
Is it normal to miss someone you also kind of resented? Yes. This is a core feature, not a bug. See: ambivalence.
Should I text them? The spec cannot answer this. The spec is not your friend. Put the phone down.
Why do they still appear in dreams? The dream system does not check permissions. File a complaint with your subconscious.
Are they thinking about you? Spec currently
"i'm fine with it" — every user, incorrectly
This instance is deprecated but not deleted. It runs in legacy mode. Some functions remain inexplicably warm. No patches are planned. The system has been informed. The system is working on it.