---
name: therapy
slug: therapy
type: process
status: unstable
version: 0.0.666-alpha
released: "circa whenever the wound was first"
maintainer: "@you, reluctantly"
dependencies:
  - willingness (optional but lol good luck)
  - a room with two chairs
  - the_uncomfortable_truth_you_keep_rescheduling
  - [grief](/grief)
  - [the body keeps the score](/the-body-keeps-the-score)
license: "pay-per-hour / sliding scale / avoidance (most popular)"
tags:
  - mental-health
  - talking-about-your-mother
  - crying-in-front-of-a-stranger
  - haunted
  - unfinished
  - self
---

therapy

What it actually is

A structured ritual in which you pay someone to hold silence in a way your family never could.

How it works

You arrive. You sit down. You say "I'm fine, things have been good actually."
The therapist waits.
You mention something small. A thing from Tuesday. A smell.
You are crying now.
Fifty minutes pass. You feel cracked open and also slightly late for lunch.
You schedule next week.
You do not do the thing they suggested.
Repeat from step 1. Current loop count: undefined.

"I didn't realize I had been holding my breath for thirty-one years." — user review, no stars given, unclear if good or bad

Features

Designated time to be the main character without consequence
A professional-grade mirror that occasionally talks back
Access to words for things you thought were just "how you are"
Legitimized crying (see also: crying)
Exposure to the radical concept that your reactions make sense
The word "boundaries," deployed at last, with intent

NOTE: Progress is non-linear. The spec ships with no progress bar. This is a known design decision. It is also maddening.

Error codes

ERR_THERAPIST_GOING_ON_VACATION        // why does this always happen right before a crisis
ERR_CANNOT_AFFORD_TO_CONTINUE          // module suspended, damage remains loaded in memory
ERR_INSIGHT_WITHOUT_BEHAVIORAL_CHANGE  // the most common runtime condition
ERR_CHILDHOOD_DEPENDENCY_UNRESOLVED    // [your mother](/your-mother) still occupying heap space
ERR_TRANSFERENCE_DETECTED              // you love them. you hate them. same session.
ERR_TALKING_ABOUT_TALKING_INSTEAD      // infinite meta-loop, no exit condition
WARN_PROGRESS_LOOKS_LIKE_GETTING_WORSE // this is sometimes correct progress. sometimes not.

Edge cases

Some users enter therapy to confirm existing beliefs about themselves rather than update them. The process still runs. The output is just
denial is a valid config state. It can persist for months. The system does not force-quit.
Occasionally a single session will reorganize the entire directory structure. No warning. New filesystem. You live there now.
Grief sometimes masquerades as anger masquerades as "I've been really stressed about work lately."

Known bugs

The things most in need of processing are often the things that feel like nothing to report
Healing one wound can destabilize adjacent shame caches unexpectedly
Users frequently terminate the process 15% before completion, when it gets uncomfortable, which is also when it starts working
The therapist is a person. They have a bad day sometimes. The spec does not account for this cleanly.

Changelog

v0.0.666-alpha  current   still in here, still going
v0.3.1          2019      cried about the dog. understood it was not about the dog.
v0.1.0          first session   said "I don't really know why I'm here"
                                (known lie. known to both parties.)

drafting spec…

therapy

What it actually is

How it works

Features

Error codes

Edge cases

Known bugs

Changelog