---
name: The Backlog
slug: the-backlog
type: queue / psychological entity / cursed artifact
status: unstable
version: 0.0.666-alpha
released: "sometime before you were ready"
maintainer: no one (last maintainer fled, left no forwarding address)
dependencies:
  - good-intentions
  - optimism-v1 (deprecated)
  - "[procrastination](/procrastination)"
  - a-calendar-you-don't-check
  - "[guilt](/guilt)"
license: irrevocable
tags:
  - productivity
  - horror
  - task-management
  - infinite-scroll
  - haunted
  - please-don't-open-it
---

The Backlog

What it actually is

A finite list that behaves like an infinite one, maintained by a person who believes they will eventually have more time.

How it works

Items enter the backlog through a standard intake process:

A task is identified as important but not urgent.
It is assigned to "later."
"Later" does not exist as a scheduled time slot.
The item persists.
New items arrive.
Repeat until

"I have 847 items in my backlog. I add to it every morning as a form of prayer." — verified user, 3:00 AM

The backlog does not shrink through neglect. It does not shrink through awareness. It has been observed to shrink only during:

existential crisis (items deleted in a fugue state)
Illness (tasks reprioritized by proximity to mortality)
Moving to a new tool (creates a second backlog)

Features

Feature	Status	Notes
Infinite storage	stable	unfortunately
Priority sorting	broken	everything is P1 somehow
"Done" state	theoretical	no items have reached this state in production
Guilt emission	running	cannot be disabled
Search	works	results are demoralizing
Reminder integration	haunted	sends notifications from tasks you deleted in 2019

Error Codes

ERR_BACKLOG_001   Queue depth exceeds available human lifespan
ERR_BACKLOG_002   Priority field returned NaN for all 847 items
ERR_BACKLOG_003   "Quick wins" folder contains 0 quick wins
ERR_BACKLOG_004   Estimated time to completion: heat death of universe
ERR_BACKLOG_005   Item "clean up backlog" has been in backlog since v0.0.1
ERR_BACKLOG_???   [this error cannot be named. you know what it is.]

Edge Cases

An item moved to "someday/maybe" achieves a kind of immortality.
If you label something "low priority" it will become urgently relevant at the worst possible moment. This is not a bug. It is irony running as intended.
The backlog occasionally contains tasks so old they have resolved themselves through entropy. These are the only true victories.
Two people sharing a backlog will each believe the other one is managing it. This is the origin of most failed collaborations.

Known Bugs

The backlog grows fastest during periods when you most intend to shrink it.
Opening the backlog to do one thing results in discovering fourteen other things. Each discovery adds 1.3 items.
Items marked "urgent" in 2021 emit a low-frequency dread that affects sleep quality.
The backlog remembers. You forget. This asymmetry is load-bearing.

Changelog

v0.0.666-alpha  present     still here. still growing. you added three things today.
v0.0.2          last year   attempted full review. abandoned. two new items added.
v0.0.1          long ago    created with hope. "this will help me stay organized."
v0.0.0-init     unknown     [commit message: "fresh start"]

FAQ

Can I delete the backlog? You can delete the file. The backlog will reconstitute itself inside your brain within 72 hours.

What is the correct number of items in a healthy backlog? This number does not

drafting spec…