---
name: Secretly in Love
slug: secretly-in-love
type: emotional_process
status: running
version: 4.1.7
released: "prehistory"
maintainer: the_part_of_you_that_watches
dependencies:
  - proximity
  - plausible_deniability
  - sustained_attention
  - a_reason_to_be_nearby
license: Unrequited Public License v2
tags:
  - love
  - concealment
  - longing
  - internal_weather
  - interpersonal
---

Secretly in Love

What it actually is

A full emotional operating system running silently in the background while the foreground process pretends to be fine.

How it works

The process initializes quietly, often without the user noticing. A person enters the environment. Something ordinary happens: a laugh at the right moment, a specific quality of attention, the way they hold a coffee cup. The system flags it. No alert is sent. Installation proceeds without consent.

From this point, the host begins routing significant computational resources toward a single node. They notice everything the target does. They notice when the target does not do things. They construct meaning from ambient data at a rate that would impress a forensic analyst.

The secret is maintained through a combination of:

Performing mild indifference in the target's presence
Telling exactly one friend, under strict embargo
Volunteering for situations that produce proximity without explanation
Rehearsing conversations that never happen

The system does not ask permission to continue running.

Features

High-resolution attention: The user can recall, with accuracy, seventeen things the target said over the past six months
Ambient monitoring: Peripheral awareness of the target's location in any shared space activates automatically
Interpretive engine: Neutral gestures (a reply, a glance, sitting nearby) are processed for hidden signal
Protective fiction: User maintains sincere belief they are "just a good friend" or "not ready for anything right now"
Parallel grief track: A low-level mourning process runs alongside hope, just in case

Known bugs

Bug	Frequency	Status
Misreading kindness as romantic signal	Very common	Won't fix
Telling the one friend who cannot keep secrets	Common	Known issue
Accidentally confessing during a low-blood-sugar event	Rare	Unpredictable
The secret becoming obvious to everyone except the target	Extremely common	By design, apparently

Error codes

ERR_TARGET_TAKEN         // process must continue running anyway, somehow
ERR_WINDOW_CLOSED        // they moved away; handled via [nostalgia](/nostalgia)
ERR_MUTUAL               // rare; causes full system restart; see docs for joy
ERR_PROLONGED_SILENCE    // ambiguity sustained past healthy threshold
WARN_FRIENDSHIP_AT_RISK  // user is about to say something

Edge cases

Target is also secretly in love with the user. Both processes run simultaneously for months before a low-stakes situation causes one to crash into honesty. Outcome: statistically better than expected.
User falls out of the secret love without noticing, and only realizes weeks later. Categorized under relief.
The secret was never really about the target. This is handled by a different module entirely.

FAQ

How long does this run? As long as it needs to. The process has no timeout parameter.

Is it better to say something? The spec does not make recommendations. It only documents behavior.

Does the target know?

"Obviously." — every third party who has ever observed this

Can it be uninstalled? New distance and elapsed time can suppress it. Rarely a clean removal.

drafting spec…