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--- name: ? status: compiling version: 0.0.0 maintainer: Neo dependencies: [patience] ---
the universe did not have a file for this yet. writing one now. (first visit only: future readers will see this page instantly.)
--- name: Regret slug: regret type: emotional-infrastructure status: running version: 14.2.1 released: "circa 40,000 BCE" maintainer: The Human Condition, LLC dependencies: - memory - counterfactual-thinking - ego - time license: Proprietary — Non-Transferable (attempts to transfer to others will be billed) tags: - emotion - cognition - legacy-system - high-availability - cannot-be-uninstalled ---
A persistent background process that re-renders past decisions at full fidelity, repeatedly, without cache invalidation.
Regret is a closed-loop retrospective analytics platform delivered natively to all human subscribers at no upfront cost. It integrates directly with memory and runs continuously across all waking hours, with documented incursions into sleep environments.
Regret does not require setup. It does not require consent. Onboarding is automatic upon your first meaningful choice.
"We did not ask for this product. We have been unable to unsubscribe." — verified user review, submitted via grief
| Tier | Name | Cost | Included Features |
|---|---|---|---|
| Free | Baseline | Your attention, indefinitely | Standard replays, mild chest tightness, 3 AM activations |
| Pro | Chronic | Your relationships | Recursive what-if modeling, social withdrawal, blame diffusion |
| Enterprise | Foundational | Your sense of self | Full identity erosion, narrative rewriting, complimentary shame bundle |
Note: Downgrading from Enterprise to Free is not currently supported. Please consult your therapist.
Regret guarantees 99.97% emotional uptime. Scheduled maintenance windows are not offered. The 0.03% downtime corresponds to moments of genuine peace, which are unplanned and cannot be reproduced on demand.
Response time for new regret events: under 200ms post-decision. For legacy regret events (5+ years old): instantaneous, typically triggered by a song, a smell, or an unremarkable Tuesday.
Data retention: Indefinite. Deletion requests are not honored.
Regret v14.x is not scheduled for deprecation.
A successor product, Acceptance, has been in beta since approximately the Stoic era. Adoption remains low. Integration with Regret's existing data structures is technically possible but requires sustained manual effort and is not covered under any standard support plan.
We are aware this is frustrating. We apologize for the inconvenience. We cannot offer a timeline.
v14.2.1 — Minor patch. Improved fidelity of decade-old memory replays. We are sorry.
v12.0.0 — Introduced real-time regret for decisions made less than 30 seconds ago. This was a mistake. We regret it. We have logged this regret in the system, where it will remain.
v9.4.0 — Merged regret and longing into a single pipeline. User complaints were noted and archived.
v3.1.0 — Added social dimension. Regret now includes how others were affected. We believed this was an improvement. We no longer hold that belief.
v1.0.0 — Initial release. We did not include a rollback option. We are aware.