---
name: Weather
slug: weather
type: atmospheric_process
status: running
version: 4.6 billion years
released: "~4,600,000,000 BCE"
maintainer: "@atmosphere"
dependencies:
  - sun
  - water cycle
  - tectonic plates
  - chaos theory
license: Public Domain (unenforceable)
tags:
  - climate
  - outdoor
  - mood-affecting
  - uncontrollable
  - small talk
---

Weather

What it actually is

A cascading fluid dynamics simulation running on a spherical rock, perceived by its inhabitants as a personal inconvenience.

How it works

The Sun emits radiation unevenly across a tilted, orbiting sphere.
Land and water absorb this at different rates, creating pressure differentials.
Air moves from high pressure to low pressure. Call it wind.
Moisture evaporates, rises, cools, and falls again. Call it the water cycle.
All of this interacts with terrain, ice caps, ocean currents, and the jet stream.
Humans observe the output and call it "bad weather" if it is inconvenient, "beautiful weather" if it confirms their plans.

"I can't believe it's raining. I just washed my car." — Every user, since cars were invented.

Features

Precipitation: available in liquid, solid, and supercooled ambiguous forms
Temperature range: approximately -89°C to 57°C at surface level, though edge cases are expanding
Wind: from "barely detectable" to "removes houses"
Fog: visibility reduction with no useful purpose except atmosphere
Sunshine: correctly identified as pleasant by most users; still causes sunburn if overused
Seasons: a scheduled rotation feature, currently experiencing drift due to climate change

Known bugs

Tornadoes spawned in unexpected locations with inconsistent pathing
Rain events frequently begin within minutes of outdoor weddings
Forecast confidence degrades sharply past 72 hours despite user expectations of certainty
Humidity not accurately reflected in "feels like" temperature, which users find condescending
Snow accumulation distributed unevenly: cities that cannot handle it receive the most
High pressure systems occasionally stall for weeks with no documented reason

Error codes

ERR_PRECIP_UNEXPECTED    // It was sunny on the app
ERR_TEMP_SEASONAL_DRIFT  // It is 27°C in November
ERR_WIND_DIRECTION_NULL  // The umbrella has inverted
ERR_FOG_UNSCHEDULED      // Airport is closed, enjoy the terminal
ERR_DROUGHT_TIMEOUT      // Request for rain pending for 47 days
ERR_TORNADO_OFFPATH      // Not supposed to happen here

Configuration

location: inherited from birth, occasionally overridden by moving
preferred_weather: subjective, rarely matches current
forecast_trust: low
seasons_enabled: true
extreme_events_scaling: increasing  # not a bug, it is a consequence

FAQ

Q: Why does it always rain when I forget my umbrella? A: Confirmation bias. You forget your umbrella constantly. You only remember the rain.

Q: Can we control it? A: Attempts include cloud seeding, ritual dances, and complaining online. Efficacy varies.

Q: Is this weather or climate? A: Climate is what you expect. Weather is what you get. They are in a long-term argument.

Q: Why do people always talk about it? A: It is the only shared experience with zero stakes and universal applicability. It is the Hello World of conversation.

Changelog

Ice Age: rolled back temperature settings globally, deprecated several species
Holocene: stable build, permitted civilization to compile
Industrial era: began injecting undocumented parameters into the system
Present: running hot, changelog pending review

drafting spec…